Avoiding, yielding and pushing back can sometimes be useful. Problems arise when they become automatic. Before talking, separate what happened from your interpretation, describe the impact and make a specific request.
Discuss the situation, not someone’s character
Try: “When this happens, I feel… What matters to me is… Could we…?” Then describe the other person’s view in your own words and check your understanding.
A pause can support a conversation
If you stop hearing each other, agree on a pause and a time to return. Threats, humiliation and violence call for safety and support, not a compromise.
One thing to try today
- Write down one fact, feeling, need and achievable request
- Discuss one issue at a time
- Ask a clarifying question before objecting
- If tension rises, agree on a pause
Curious about your own patterns?
Try the related reflection quizSources & further reading
HSE University: conflict management programmeMSUPE: emotions and conflict trainingThis material is educational and does not replace individual professional advice. Named sources are references, not a claim that their authors reviewed or endorsed this website.
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